This coming April will make 5 years that I’ve been single. (see My Story) 2 years after my husband passed away, I sincerely tried dating, and I learned enough through only 2 bad experiences to write an entire book on the subject. One thing I realized is that I DON’T want to have to think like a man in order to date one. No offense Steve Harvey, but that’s just too many rules to keep up with.
Dating today can be scary in my opinion. Dating as a Christian and a single parent can feel like you’re walking down Nightmare on Elm Street! Apparently I’m not the only one whose gone through this little horror experience. The numbers are crazy: there are 112 million single (unmarried) people over 18 in the U.S. and for every 88 single men, there are 100 single women. (unmarried.org) I could actually give more numbers that are really interesting, but I’m going to stop there and let that last one sink in. For every 100 single women, there are only 88 single men…soooo basically some single woman out there is going to have to face the reality that she may not get married ever or ever again.
Maybe it’s because my marriage was such a great one up until my husband passed away. Or maybe it’s because it was way too short of a marriage in the first place (we were only married 1 year and 6 months). Or maybe it has to do with the fact that I’ve had time to realize all the things I’d do differently as a wife if I have the chance to do it all over again. Whatever the reason, I believe in and hope for another chance to be married. And on that note, I’m no longer ashamed to say that if you know a quality single Christian guy who likes kids…send him my way. Thank you 🙂
I realize my story may be unique…I don’t know anyone else personally that became a widow at the age of 24. When most females were trying to figure out what to do with their lives, I was figuring out funeral arrangements for my spouse. That may sound really hard, but it was my reality. This reality has made a HUGE impact on how I now see relationships and marriage. And yet, I’m still optimistic about my future. Things do change whenever I wander into the world wide web!
All around me there are blogs, books and podcasts about how Single Is the NEW Sexy! According to one blogger, if you’re young and aspiring to marriage, you’re a coward. She goes on to say that “…marriage is nothing but a security blanket for people who are too afraid to face the world alone.”
Then she lists all the things you should do with your life other than think about marriage and one to-do was:
Get a tattoo…it’s more permanent than marriage anyway.
Really? For someone whose marriage ended too painful, too soon, I want to scream reading this! Is there some shred of truth to this? Please tell me that’s not true of my generation? It may seem lame, weak, or whatever–but I deeply admire the image of family life. I believe in the hope of having a husband and more children. Am I old-fashioned for this?
Now, I do agree that people should get out in the world and live! Travel, try a new food, volunteer, babysit, learn something new, build your passion, further your education, develop your hobbies or try a new hobby, etc. But am I the only one left who feels that you and your spouse can do all this together as well one day?
Marriage doesn’t have to mean the end of life, but the chapter to a new beautiful beginning–if it’s with the right person.
So I’ll keep improving and striving to Make Life Magnificent. But in my heart I hope to one day share this magnificent journey with someone special (other than my sweet little boy who loves animals, climbing and getting dirty!)
I’m ready for love again, but as I always say–I’d rather be with nobody than to be forever connected to the wrong somebody, so I’m willing to wait.
Maybe for fun, I’ll go get a tattoo! It’ll have to be one of those sticker tattoos though, because I don’t like needles!